Denver Boudoir – You are More Than a Number
I saw this commercial a few weeks ago, and have so much to say about it, that I have put off doing this blog post. For far too long.
I’m not ashamed of my size, although there are occasional comments from well-meaning relatives. Things like “you would be so pretty if you would only get to about a size 18, you could model.” Or “your butt would look so cute at about a size 16.” I smile and nod, trying not to snap back with a retort that would not only hurt feelings, but could potentially damage relationships. After all, when someone says something like that to you, class and tact are not the personality traits that immediately come out without really thinking about a response.
And since I know someone will ask me this question, here is the answer: No, it is not my husband saying these things to me. He is supportive of me and loves me the way that I am.
These comments, this commercial, and several other things that I’ve come across lately have made me think quite a bit about what we use to define ourselves. Labels – wife, mother, sister, doctor, photographer… Status – married, single… Ethnicities, sexualities, social status, the list of things that we can use to define who we are goes on and on. The argument could be made that these labels are superficial, things that aren’t really important, however I know that several people define themselves based on not only these words, but their experiences that come with these words. And these experiences are part of what makes us who we are – good, bad, ugly – the experience itself, and how we handle it, will help us to grow and ultimately become the people that we are today.
So why, with all of these other options, do we keep going back to a number on a tag to determine whether we are worth something or not? Why is it such a horrible thing to openly declare your jean size? Does it make you who you are? If you are a size 8, does that make you a stupid woman? If you are a size 16, does that make you a lazy woman? If you are a size 2, does that make you a mean woman? All of these statements line up with my feelings on the entire idea that a number defines who we are – absolutely, 100% ridiculous.
Ladies: You are more than just a number. Click here to tweet that!
Whether this number is a number on a tag in a pair of jeans, a number on a scale, or a number in any other sense – you are a human being, not a number. And when you are a woman that gives love and spreads joy to those around you, you are a woman deserving of love and respect. It doesn’t matter what number you see, anywhere around you! The number is not you, it is not who you are. It might be where you’re at on a journey, it might be your happy place, it might be something that makes you cringe and you’re working on it – BUT IT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE.
I have friends that are teeny tiny and fit, and have worked their BUTTS off to get that way. (Literally, ha!) I have friends that are larger and curvier, and have battled their weight their entire lives. I have friends who are right in the middle, but still look to that number to feel better about themselves.
So I have a challenge for you. I’m wondering if this is too much, too bold, but we’re going to go for it. In the comments below, or in the comments on this post on Facebook, I challenge you to share your size. If you want to share the why behind your size that’s okay too, but I want to know that size, that number. Get it out there, post it, and in the comments before and afterwards – let’s SUPPORT each other. This number is NOT who you are, and it will never be who you are – regardless of what the number is. And right after your size, I want you to post a word that describes you in a positive way. What do you love about yourself, what defines you, and who you REALLY are?
Size, and what do you love about yourself in the comments. Whew, this is crazy, right?
I’ll start – I’m a size 20-22, depending on what I’m trying on. I don’t really have a story about my size, other than the fact that I am comfortable with my size, healthy, and curvy. And as soon as I say I’ll start, I can’t think of something to write that is positive about myself after my size. That is crazy! Okay… I love to laugh, and have a positive outlook on life.
I did it ladies, you can too!
Watch the commercial, take the challenge, and support each other. A number doesn’t define you.
SO? What is your size? What is the number that is plaguing you? It is NOT who you are! Share in the comments below or in the conversation on Facebook.
By the way, I need one of these measuring tapes… watch below to see what I mean.
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I am so privileged to be a top Denver boudoir photography specialist! My clients’ privacy is a top priority for these intimate portraits. Any and all boudoir images that are posted have been shared by the subject with written permission. I am honored that my clients choose to share their images with the world, and talk about their experiences with those images.
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14. I just had my third baby in July. I was down about 17lbs from where I am now when I got pregnant and truthfully I hate seeing that number.
Loving. I am always giving love and positivity to others.
There is a new #boudoir blog post: You Are More Than a Number. A challenge – who will accept it? :) http://t.co/mftnJrrBX7
I’m a size 8/9 depending on what I’m wearing, and I love my curves. For the first time in my life I have a man who has made me feel and believe that I and my curves are beautiful, instead of something to be ashamed of. Lucky for me I get to marry him!
“You are so much more than just a number.” A note about defining who we are from #boudoir photographer @brookesphoto http://t.co/HUl7qSkhYN
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I’m a size 0-2. I wanted to post, because I get snark comments on the opposite end of the spectrum as plus sized ladies. “Oh she must be anorexic,” or “why do you even bother exercising? You don’t need to.” Just as words to heavier women and saying they need to be thinner can hurt, the same goes for people who constantly say to gain weight. Health issues and just life are different for everyone. Be kind! One word to describe myself is compassionate! :) I have a very caring heart.
Ugh Kate it makes me sad that we are snarky at all. I have had clients who are very thin, and they are STILL concerned with different parts of their bodies and their perceived “flaws.” We all have things that we are uncomfortable with, regardless of our size!
Thank you Brooke!! I always just ask my family or friends “are you HAPPY?” and if their answer is yes, then I say don’t even worry about what size you are then!! Happiness is so important, not a number. Every single woman (even supermodels) have insecurities. I have plenty! Women and society in general need to embrace one another for how we treat each other and NOT by how we physically appear. I constantly recognize how positive and happy you are all the time Brooke and that is inspiring. You own your beauty and want to embrace women everywhere to own their beauty as well. That’s amazing.
I’m currently a 16-18. I’ve been heavy all my life. Size 24 at my largest in high school to size 14 senior year of college. My goal is to be healthy and not be consumed by a number. My positive is that I am an athlete. I’m still playing Fastpitch softball at 28! Thanks for this post!
I’m right at a 20. I would like to lose some for health reasons, but I’ve never been more secure in who I am.
I fit size 7-9. Other than during pregnancy, this is the largest size I’ve worn. I was still wearing 0’s after highschool and was anorexic for a few years. It’s taken me a long time to be ok with how I look, and I still struggle majorly with body image issues. It’s crazy how distorted our self-image becomes in that evil little mirror. So now, I avoid it as much as possible. Threw out the scales in my house, and have no full-length mirrors. I find it healthier to live that way. I exercise now to be healthy, and never step on a scale, count calories or measure myself (whereas I used to do all obsessively). At any rate, positive thing about me is that I have a heart from homeless people and battered women. I love helping other people. :)
16/18.
AMen to that!!!
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I am a size 6. Unfortunately I have spent most of my life feeling like I am not the right shape. Its embarrassing to even say that. I have not felt sexy since I was pregnant! And that was 40 pounds heavier! I am still looking for my confidence in my post baby body. I don’t care about the number or size, just how I feel. I have a great smile and a serious zest for life!
Size 4-6 depending on the brand. It took a lot of hard work and sacrifice for me to get there, so I’m pretty proud of that number!
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Ugggh why do we put that kind of pressure on ourselves? :\ You are beautiful Jayme, just as you are. Your body grew a tiny human, that is amazing :)
Jayme, you are more than the curve of your hips or size of your waist. You are an intelligent, strong woman :) if you took away your body, your brain and personality are still there and thats really where the sexy counts ;)
Size 12, confident, sexy, happy, never felt better about myself. Im happier and more confident now than when I was 18 and a size 5. :)
I’m a size 4/6 and I get the reverse comments from people about being tiny and why do I need to exercise or make good choices with the food I eat. Being thin doesn’t make me any less concerned with maintaining a healthy lifestyle. These comments make me feel embarrassed for being small.
Katherine-I couldn’t agree more! The comments about being too thin or needing to gain weight make me feel like I should be ashamed of my body. No one can ever be perfect. Society will never accept any size; either we are too fat or too thin or too boyish or too this or that. We just have to only be happy with ourselves. No one else matters. :) For you moms I a praise anyone who has brought a life into this world. That is so amazing and can be difficult on the body. Moms are beautiful!!!!
Thanks for this post Brooke!
I am a size 6. I would like to be just a size or two smaller as I was a size 2 a few years ago, but I know 6 is fine. I wish I felt sexier, all I see is cellulite and thick legs. One word I would use to describe myself is loyal. I love to help people and will stick around.
Lauren Drake Rice, you would love this article! Meet my friend Brooke. As for my answer, I’m at 20/22, depending on what I’m wearing. I’ve been as high as 30/32 though… and down to 16. I’m okay with who I am, just am working on it more for health purposes. My positive word? Ummmmm… lots of people lately have told me that I am a sunshine. I take that as a compliment :)
Currently a size 4-6 depending on the cut and brand of the pants. I was a lot heavier (size 14) than that and worked really hard and sacrificed to get the weight off and feel sexy again. Even though I know I’m more than just my jeans size, I’m proud about where I am. Things I love about myself….I’m a great wife, great mom, creative and ambitious.
ive been a 15/17 at my heaviest and a 4/6 at my smallest. today im a 10. my biggest struggle is that i appear to myself one way in my head- im beautiful, curvy in the right places, happy and loved. in the mirror that seems to fade, but knowing that others out there feel like i do or have constant weight fluxuation makes me feel more secure in my own skin.
Love this post Brooke! I’m a size 16/18 in jeans and bigger in shirts. I may be fluffy but my husband sure thinks I’m sexy! It makes me sad when women come in for shoots and feel like they’re too heavy or out of shape. We don’t all have to be under a certain number. Thanks for posting!
Thank you so much for sharing ladies… I love that we are okay with sharing, we are not numbers!
I’m a 2, it’s petite, but it’s 7 lb and one size bigger than the majority of my clothes (pre-baby 2 years ago). I get a lot of eye rolls when I say I need to eat better and work out harder. I just want to fit into my wardrobe without having to suck in and stop breathing. Whether a person wants to lose a little, lose a lot, gain a little or just be healthier, we should stop rolling our eyes and instead say, “Good luck on your goals. Whether you get there or not, I love you as you are.” Which my husband does, but he has to say that kind of thing. :-)
Terrific post! I wish women would be more supportive of each other (this is assuming the person was a woman). Seems we spend more time knocking each other down when we should be building each other up.
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YES – you are more than a number. Do you believe that? Sometimes it is hard, but please know it. Have you seen… http://t.co/zNeyvZ8RNi