NEVER Feel Guilty For This | Best Boudoir Photography in Denver
Hello hello, awesome ladies. Yes, YOU. Sitting there, in your yoga pants and flip flops with a messy bun. Hey there, I’m in yoga pants and flip flops with a messy bun too! And not the kind of messy bun that you see on Pinterest with those influencer model ladies who effortlessly throw it up and look like they walked off of a magazine cover. I’m straight up messy, wondering if you slept on it kind of bun today. Because the best boudoir photography in Denver doesn’t mean best dressed photographer, am I right?!
I truly have the best clients in the world, and it is astounding to me to hear stories that I can relate to on SO many levels!
A few conversations with my clients, friends and ladies recently have really put this onto my heart, and I wanted to share it with you.
I’m a wife and mother, and as we ALL know, that can really wear a person down. Even if you personally aren’t either, chances are, you have a lot of expectations and things that you have to take care of in your life. And we can ALL fall into the trap of taking care of others first, before taking care of ourselves.
When my son was born (holy moly… 15 years ago!), motherhood was new to me.
I’m an extrovert – which means that sitting at home with a newborn that doesn’t do much except eat, sleep and poop, was making me crazy.
I didn’t really have any friends with babies, I was young and alone. My husband at the time was at work, and while I had family around me supporting me, they were also working during the day. I was not yet known for the best boudoir photography in Denver – I didn’t have my business yet. I had a full time job, but was on maternity leave, and I would look at this baby and feel crazy overwhelmed with how much I loved him… and at the same time, crazy frustrated with being caged all day. That’s what it felt like – being caged. And then top that off with a nice heaping side of guilt? Yeah, good times.
I tried watching soap operas. I tried reading. I tried doing pretty much everything that I saw in the stereotypical housewife scenario – because I had always worked full time, I wasn’t really sure what to do with myself other than keep this tiny human alive. And those other things? Yuck, just so not for me. I was DEFINITELY not one of the real housewives, that’s for damn sure.
This was BEFORE social media. This was BEFORE Facebook moms groups. Yes, I had friends, but they didn’t have babies, and when you’re in a specific stage of life, no matter what that stage is, it is an amazing feeling to know that you’re not alone.
Because that’s exactly how I felt – alone.
One autumn day, I bundled us both up, loaded my tiny boy into the stroller, and decided I was going to walk to get some lunch. By myself. Which back in 2004, was CRAZY for me, I was definitely not one to spend time alone, and going to lunch by myself felt like the saddest and most depressing thing ever. You’ll be happy to know I have since gotten over that belief, but at the time, I was lonely. And getting out of the house seemed so necessary at the time, I had to get out of the house and be around people!
So I went to Noodles & Company. At 2 o’clock in the afternoon on a Tuesday, and sat alone. Ironic, yes I know – I leave to be around people and no one is there. Literally – there was no one else eating in the restaurant except for me.
And the most messed up part about all of this?
I FELT GUILTY. For doing something nice for myself, for doing something that I needed that didn’t serve anyone but me.
Are you with me, does this resonate?
Why do we heap guilt on ourselves for taking some time to focus on taking care of ourselves, instead of someone else?
I am honored to be called the best Denver boudoir photographer in Denver, and believe me – I hear this story a LOT. And before we jump down the self-care rabbit hole of bubble baths, let’s just address that real quick – self care does NOT have to match what other people choose. It is intensely personal, and can be as simple as a cup of coffee in the morning – yes the FANCY kind instead of the basic kind, or a bath with a good book. It can mean saying no to someone else’s request when you are overloaded and need that day to just BE instead of running around and helping people. It can mean taking a power nap in the afternoon while the kiddos nap, even though you have laundry to do. It can mean stepping away from the caretaker role for a few hours to do something that is JUST FOR YOU.
Rachel Hollis has really struck a chord with women in the past few years. Some people love her, some people really don’t like her. Her first book (out of the fiction realm) is Girl Wash Your Face, and the second is Girl Stop Apologizing. Admittedly, I didn’t love the first book, although the second was definitely better, but there is a story that keeps coming back into my head over and over again. I’m so sorry I don’t remember which book it’s in, but I’m going to share anyway because it’s a metaphor that is so ON POINT.
Rachel shared a story that she was told about how we, as women, are like glass vases full of water constantly tipping themselves over for other people – here’s some for you, you need some so here, oh wait you need some too! But when a glass vase is constantly tipping over, what is likely to happen?
IT BREAKS.
So what’s the alternative, to never tip and share ourselves with the world? Definitely not.
When a glass vase is full and continues to fill itself, it will naturally overflow to everything around it.
This is an ongoing practice of filling yourself up FIRST, so that you can pour out to those around you. Husbands, kids, parents, co-workers, the list goes on and on. You are not as competent in taking care of those people when you haven’t taken care of yourself first.
I have to remind myself of this CONSTANTLY. Man I love those two little ones, and now we have two doggies that fill my heart up too – and I want to give them the world! Having the best boudoir photography in Denver means running a very active and busy business – and if I DON’T take care of myself, not only does my family suffer, but my business suffers too. And let’s be real – it’s JUST NOT WORTH IT.
So I’m curious – what are some of the things that you do for yourself, that don’t serve anyone else, that fill up your “vase”?
Some of my favorites:
- GOOD food (foodie here, no terrible chain cheeseburgers, know what I mean?!)
- Baths with a good book
- Yoga
- Crafts & creating
- Time with friends
- Baking
- Travel & adventures
What are YOUR things that you do for yourself?
And because every post is better with a photo, here is the gorgeous Ms. A and her beautiful laugh. I’ve REALLY been feeling the laughing shots lately. There is something so incredibly fun and sexy about a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and can let her guard down!
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I am so privileged to be a top Best Boudoir Photography in Denver specialist! My clients’ privacy is a top priority for these intimate portraits. Any and all boudoir images that are posted have been shared by the subject with written permission. I am honored that my clients choose to share their images with the world, and talk about their experiences with those images.
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