Denver Boudoir Photographer – Beauty Sketches by Dove
Several people have shared this video for me, and I have a LOT to say about it, but have struggled in writing this. Truth be told, it’s because this video makes me cry.
Confession: I still ask my husband if I am pretty enough for him. Yes, I know it, in my heart – but every once in awhile those crappy thoughts invade my brain, and take over, and I have moments of insecurities. I – just like all of you – have things about my body I don’t like. I am a curvy woman, and I am truly comfortable in my own skin, and my size. What I am NOT comfortable with is the fact that my middle seems to dwarf the rest of me. I feel like Tweedle Dee or Tweedle Dum – remember these guys?
That’s right, slim legs but huge middles. Ever since I had my son, my middle is where all of my weight goes, and I don’t like that I feel disproportionate. I have dark circles under my eyes, regardless of how much sleep I get. This is thanks to genetics, there isn’t much I can do about it, and I’m very self conscious about it. I will edit it out of photos because I hate it so much, and will edit it for my clients too, just because I’m sensitive about it. One of my eyes is more open than the other. No one else notices, but I do. My boobs are lopsided. And yes, I know that everyone says that’s normal – but it’s a full cup size and I’m very self conscious about that too. One of my teeth didn’t move completely with my braces and is turned, and knocks on my bottom teeth, and I feel like it might be a different color too, which makes me wonder sometimes about my smile.
I could go on and on with the little flaws that I see every day, I’m sure you all have a long list too. WHY am I telling you this? Well, a few reasons. First, I want you to know that I get it. I talk all the time on Facebook, with people I meet, about believing that we’re all beautiful, and that we need to embrace ourselves NOW, as we are NOW, without waiting. And I 100%, wholeheartedly believe that – it is not just some song and dance. But I struggle with it too. I have days where I feel like I’ve been beat up and run over and my outside matches that inside feeling. And it SUCKS. I get it – we look in the mirror and see everything that’s wrong, no matter how little or insignificant it truly is. Because while it may be little to the rest of the world, it’s a big deal to us. My under-eye circles are minuscule in the grand scheme of things, but they really, really bother me. When I look in the mirror, sometimes that’s all I see. And that dominates my thoughts.
Those little things that I see as “wrong” with me will overtake all of the good things about me. Not just my personality or heart – but the outer beauty too.
We are so damn concerned with our self-perceived “flaws” that we forget to concentrate on how beautiful we really are.
That’s right, I put a link in there so you can tweet that, because I believe it is THAT important.
So where did all of this come from? A link that has been sent to me SEVERAL times. One of my clients sent it to me on Facebook and said:
Brooke Summer this made me think of you and how you uplift women through your talent and how fabulous you made me and so many others feel in just a couple short hours!
I really love how Dove is working to change the perception of beauty in our culture, and this video REALLY hits home for me. Like I said, it made me cry. It really made me think about everything that I see when I look at myself, and how people around me aren’t thinking of me in that way, even if I am. I’ve had people stop me at events just to tell me I’m beautiful, and it shocks me – and dumbfounds me. Why is it that I can’t see what they are so clearly seeing, even to the point that they will stop a complete stranger to hand out a compliment? Why are we so hard on ourselves, and not on others?
I work VERY hard with my clients to get them to think about what they like about their bodies. I will never ask a woman what she doesn’t like about her body – chances are, I will hear that before I hear anything else about her. I want to know what my clients love, what they think is awesome. I want to know if she thinks she has a great booty. Or awesome boobs. Or gorgeous hair. Or sexy legs. I want to know what you love about yourself, and what you want to show off. And I will tell you that most of my clients have a hard time with this at first. Usually they will tell me, in person, that they didn’t know what to say when I asked that question. What? We concentrate so much on what we hate, that we really can’t even think about what we love? We need to change this. Not only for ourselves, but for our daughters and for future generations. We are a prize, we are created and gorgeous, and we, as women, are amazing souls. We need to start treating ourselves better, and start a movement of looking at ourselves realistically, and with love.
Today, please spend ten minutes, watch this video, and ask yourself what you really believe about your own self-image. One of my favorite quotes from the video:
We spend a lot of time as women analyzing and trying to fix the things that aren’t quite right, and we should spend more time appreciate the things that we do like.
After you watch the video, I would love to hear a comment. If you’re not comfortable publicly stating it, email me, or comment on Facebook. What do YOU love about yourself, and your body? What physical feature do you have that you love?
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I think we all have imperfections that we are more self-conscious of than is truly necessary (myself included). The Dove video is a great example of how hard on ourselves we truly are and that most people don’t even see us the same way we see ourselves.
This morning I was thinking about writing a blogpost almost exactly like this. I have been thinking constantly since I watched this video about many things including my apple shaped body and my brown spot. I wonder if this experiment was done on men what the results would be? I have seen a couple of paradys which of course made me giggle but i seriously wonder. I think all of us can relate in some way. I do hope that Dove and portrait artists like ourselves can have a hand in changing women’s perceptions of themselves.
Thank you for sharing xx
This is such an important message! Thank you for sharing!
I love your honesty. And I’m right there with you, sister!! It’s funny, I kinda feel like I’m the only boudoir photographer in the world who has NOT blogged on this video yet…because, honestly, I’m still struggling with what to say, and with my own emotions surrounding it. Thank you for putting into words pretty damn closely what is in my heart. :)