It’s Called “Maycember” for a Reason

I’m starting to wonder if May is a psychological endurance test specifically designed for mothers. I feel it in my own life, and work with women in my Colorado boudoir studio who tell me the same thing.

Far too often when I talk about things like this, people assume that I’m complaining about being a mother – and nothing can be further from the truth. Being a mom to my two humans is one of the greatest joys in my life, and has been for 21 years now.

AND ALSO – two things can be true at once. We can experience great joy and love these humans so fiercely we feel like our hearts might break open, and also admit that…

We. Are. Tired.

Every single thing requiring:

• planning
• transportation
• emotional labor
• calendar management
• supplies
• money

and usually… a woman.

And somehow, in the middle of all of this chaos, there’s Mother’s Day.

Which feels a tad ironic considering most moms I know spend the entire month carrying the logistical weight of everyone else’s lives, and then on top of that so many are also carrying Mother’s Day planning for their own moms, other moms in their lives, and even worse – for themselves.

I keep telling my family I’m going to travel for Mother’s Day and one day I will… but currently, being a team mom for my daughter’s softball team matters WAY more, so it wins.

I used to think people were exaggerating when they called May “Maycember.”

And then I became a mom with school-aged kids. In my case, kids ten years apart, which meant just as one was done with his chaos, the second was entering the chaos.

• Spirit weeks.
• Band concerts.
• Softball tournaments.
• Teacher appreciation gifts.
• Field days.
• Award ceremonies.
• Last-minute projects announced with approximately eleven minutes of notice.
• Permission slips.
• Science projects.
• Class parties.
• Sign-up forms.
• Snack duty.
• Emails. So many emails.

The Mental Load Nobody Really Sees

The hardest part isn’t always the physical tasks – it’s the mental tabs that never close. And not because some of us are weird browser tab hoarders – but because these tabs contain important information that needs to be consistently referenced and looked at.

It’s being the one who remembers:

• the jersey needs washed
• the cupcakes need ordered
• the form needs signed
• the teacher wanted volunteers
• the project board is due Friday
• the sunscreen is almost gone
• there’s no food for tomorrow’s team dinner

It’s being the default project manager of everyone else’s lives.

And over time, something subtle starts happening.

Women disappear inside of function.

Not dramatically, not all at once.

Just slowly.

Piece.

By.

Piece.

You become so focused on making everything run smoothly for everyone else that you stop asking yourself what YOU need entirely.

Not because you don’t matter, but because there’s always something louder demanding your attention first. And even for moms who are pretty good at self care, it can become quite overwhelming during certain times of the year – including Maycember.

The Part Nobody Wants To Say Out Loud

A lot of mothers are exhausted in ways sleep will never fix.

Because it’s not just physical exhaustion.

It’s emotional exhaustion, it’s decision fatigue, constant vigilance, and the pressure of being the one who keeps everything from falling apart.

And sometimes it feels like the entire world would fall apart if moms stopped functioning for 48 hours.

But nobody notices what it costs us to keep functioning indefinitely.

“I Barely Recognize Myself Anymore.”

As a Denver boudoir photographer, I hear versions of this constantly.

Not always directly.

But underneath the conversations about confidence, weight changes, aging, motherhood, divorce, burnout, and identity shifts… it’s there.

Women who have spent years taking care of everyone else suddenly realizing: “I don’t even know who I am outside of what I do for other people anymore.”

And that realization can feel terrifying.

Because somewhere along the line, so many women were taught that wanting something purely for themselves was indulgent.

Somewhere along the line, many women were taught that wanting something purely for themselves was selfish.

Nope.

Why Boudoir Matters More Than People Think

This is part of why I believe so deeply in boudoir photography.

Not because women “need” sexy photos.
Not because they need validation.
Not because confidence magically appears in lingerie.

Because for many women, especially mothers, a boudoir session becomes one rare day where they are no longer responsible for everyone else.

No snack bags.
No permission slips.
No emotional management.
No coordinating.
No fixing.
No giving every piece of themselves away.

Just one day to reconnect with the person underneath all the roles.

To exist as a woman instead of only a function.

That matters more than most people realize.

A boudoir session in my Colorado boudoir studio means letting someone ELSE take charge for a little bit. My stylists will pamper you while you relax with a drink and chat. I will probably have you in some pretty uncomfortable positions, but you don’t have to decide what is happening unless you want to, I will take the lead and let you relax your brain and look and feel amazing.

Maybe The Goal Isn’t Doing More

Every May, I watch mothers sprint themselves into the ground trying to hold everything together while simultaneously being told to “enjoy every moment.”

And I think we need to be more honest about how heavy this all can be.

Maybe the answer isn’t becoming better at carrying impossible amounts of responsibility, maybe it starts with acknowledging that women were never supposed to carry all of this alone in the first place.

And maybe somewhere underneath the schedules, carpools, sports practices, emails, laundry piles, and mental checklists…

You still exist too.

If You’ve Been Feeling Lost In The Chaos

If you’ve been feeling disconnected from yourself underneath all the responsibilities of motherhood, you’re not alone.

And if you’ve been considering booking a Denver boudoir session for years but keep telling yourself it’s impractical, unnecessary, or selfish?

I hear this ALL THE TIME.

Maybe this is your reminder that you matter too.

Not just for what you do for everyone else, but because you’re still a whole person underneath all of it.