Boudoir Photography: Empowering or Objectifying? | Boudoir in Parker, CO
After 16 years as a Denver boudoir photographer, I’ve learned that empowerment isn’t a destination – it’s an evolution.
I have been specializing in boudoir photography since 2009 – as of the date of this post, that is officially 16 years working with one specific genre of photography. I’ve had studios in a few different locations in the Denver metro area, including boudoir in Parker, CO, and I have worked with thousands of women. THOUSANDS.
I have watched my work change, and there has been a consistent theme in my work from the beginning – my belief that boudoir photography is about so much more than photos, it’s about COMING HOME TO YOURSELF.
Every pose, every conversation, every image should honor who you are, not who the world expects you to be, or who you’ve been conditioned to be in any phase of your life
Listening, even when it hurts…
Recently, I received some feedback from a client who chose not to move forward with her session, and I’ve never been faced with this particular situation before. She shared that some of my pre-session materials felt objectifying instead of empowering.
I felt like I had been punched in the gut – because empowering women is the heartbeat of everything I do, my why in every part of my work.
Reading this brought up a LOT for me – tears, shock, and RAGE. To be clear – I wasn’t angry with her whatsoever. I was grateful that she brought this to my attention, because it is NEVER my goal to objectify anyone in my studio, and to hear that a client was feeling that is so abhorrent to me that I immediately wanted to figure out why, how, what – how do I fix this?
In sitting with her messages – which were so kind and honest, I value her feedback immensely – the rage bubbled over and was directed entirely at myself.
Even writing this is bringing it up again, because here’s the reality:
I have grown a LOT in the past few years, and some things in my life, relationships and business haven’t grown with me.
Language evolves, and so do we, in our lives and as humans. While there are several examples of this that were absolutely feeding that rage, this one in particular hit because what once felt helpful can start to feel outdated when our own perspectives shift.
Evolving Language to Meet Alignment & Power
Empowering can mean so many different things – and it has changed and evolved over the years, not just for me, but in our culture as well.
I have been revisiting all of my emails, prep guides and every word of my client experience. I have been rewriting them through a new lens that is in alignment with who I am NOW, not years ago. This lens is one that centers self-connection, self sovereignty, magic, and joy.
My clients’ responses have always mattered, but the questions are being revamped because I want to know what you love about yourself. I want to invite you to explore how you want to feel in front of my camera, and to learn what YOU want out of the experience, so that we can collaborate and create the experience and the photos together.
Because ultimately, empowering other humans – especially women – isn’t about pleasing anyone else.
It’s about reclaiming your own reflection. Which is oddly poetic, given my one word for the year: Reclaim.
The rage I felt wasn’t towards my client or her feedback, but that I had allowed people in my life to encourage me to shrink, instead of to grow fully into the woman that I want to be, and the business owner that I want to be.
This journey reminded me that listening is an act of love, and refinement is part of integrity. My studio remains a place for real women – and “real” isn’t defined by size, age, shape, background, skin color or any other characteristic that the world wants to put onto us – to be seen, heard, and celebrated exactly as they are.
I want to thank Ms. X for calling me out.
It definitely triggered a day of tears and rage – but not directed at her, directed at the metamorphosis that I’ve been experiencing and the changes that are required to align my life and business with the woman I want to be.
I want to impact lives, I want my business to be a place where my clients feel amazing and powerful and magical, and the emotions tied to it were necessary to move forward, even if they hurt at the time.
If you’re ready to rediscover your own confidence and power, I would be honored to create with you.
